Name that grog

Facebooked to Delmar, who generously, if foolishly, relinquished the remains of his bottle of Hornitos to my care back last time he graced our sweet isles with his presence.

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DeWilde, sir: Got impatient for your return to us denisons of Ookaooka Bay, so tried out the Horny Toads Tequila, idly wondering what the consequences would be to the olʻ Id after quaffing a new, apres-ski inspired Tiki Toddy concatenation. The recipe: one package genuine freeze-dried Korean ginseng tea dottle, toss into well-superheated water filling approximately 2/3 of yer favorite ceramic mug; mull until well integrated; then, in a coup de grass worthy of Snagglepuss himself, infuse said liquidity with as much Horny Toes as you dare. If you must, garnish with perhaps a cinnamon stick for further mullage. 

Before actual imbible, gather personal rational forces for an experience that kix the average pineal gland into another, much buzzier galaxy. Whoooooosh -- downhill swipe, er, swoop. To quote my favorite Xmas ditty, as "Sandy Sleighfoot learned one day, without skis he could ski." Fair warning.

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This drink needs a name.  Really.  A freegratis, not-too-skritchy copy of Uncle Martyʻs seminal LP classic "Exotica," as well as the self-titled semiseminal 4-song Squidsʻ EP from way back in 1980, sure some day to be a classic in its own right, will be gratefully snailymailed to the hominid who communicates to Perry (moi) the most da-kine moniker, thru any 21st Centry medium -- facebook, this site, whatever.  You know, the name that rully rully SEZ the drinky.  But you gotta try it first.  Perry (yr obdt srvnt) can tell.

Happy hollow days

Perry "Patetic" Coma

prospectin' for that flashin' pan of showroom gold

And now, for those empathetic souls who wish nothing but bonne chance to the patient cast 'n' crew of our li'l troupe in our eternal quest for a Steady Showroom Gig -- here, in epistolary form, e-mail subspecies, is an extremely recent exchange betwixt myself and the cerebral cortex of Delmar regarding just those chances: ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------- [A few notes about what follows, especially the more obscure-to-the-uninitiated references: KKAH is shorthand for the Fritz-And-Bobo ditty "Ko Kaua Ala Helelani," a poignant ballad depicting the vicissitudes of human sacrifice, penned by Delmar in another of his many musical avatars...  He's been attending this very postterm birth of my musical input for this song since February, poor guy.  PMP refers to my recording studio Pacific Music Productions and not to some  enabler-company of pr*stituti*n, dontcha know.  OK already, on with the exchange.]  ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------- DelMarvelosity -- at looooooooooooooooooooooooong last, here are 2 versions of KKAH in mixed form.  Be ye prepared to receive sometime during/after the holiday post office mayhem season a dvd with individual takes of keyboard ramblings, intended for your and Boboʻs personal dispensation and choppage in whatever way u like. Next project: Lopaka for F&B song #2 China exploratory mission now postponed/scheduled for late January ... OT, meeting with head honcho of Royal Hwn Shopping Center theater today re putting the Don in the presently dark facility. Beau regards, Purr Yo und Yo Perry Punjab Coma, Yassuh! Mahalo-Plenty for the Ko Kaua renderin's. My mind's ear could in fact hear a hybridization of the string und Theramin parts. There are spots in the tune where I'd imagine a lighter lyrical counter section voiced a bit higher. Semi-demi-related question: Are you tricked-out/signed-up for SKYPE? Realtime long distance A/V tele-conferencing via cornputor -and it's FREE! Suchadeal...  Thanks for the updates regarding things TIKI.  As always I root root root for the home team (Tikoids) during sensitive negotiations pertaining to global conquest and look ever forward to my next Tropifusion.  Did you receive my email pertaining to the Apogee Duet in use as a bridge from the analog vox world and the digital domain? Enquiring mimes want to know... Mit Leiben und Goobers, -Delzilla Dear DD:  I did finally get to my very own email nook to check out missives clambering downward from the ether.  Actually, that particular wavelength seems exclusively to be the venue of choice for ether (sic, with deepest apologies for the punjab) your Delicousness or Starrʻs Delilahtude to wield the intercommunicative baton upon my virtual skull.  So be it, and I like it like dat.   Now then.  About the Apogee stoffs.  Do forget not, o Deltoid, that I am -- underneath it all and not too far from the epidermal surface at that --  basically an unreconstructed Luddite anent matters Electronique, esp. in the quality-check dept.  Mr Milan is the Man on the Qui Vive regarding such arcane matters.  Heʻs been suspiciously absent of late, perhaps heading off to a sequestered Serbo-Croatian clandestination; however, next time he seems to take a relaxed breath chez PMP it is my intention to broach the subject for ya. As for our own in-the-woiks clandestiny -- thanx and props to Eddie Lau of the Lighting Mixer, just met with the Powerful Mr Roy Tokujo, he of the original Magic of Polynesia (astutely sold to Roberts while the selling was good), and presently owner/operator of the long-running Maui show ʻUlalena as well principal leaseholder of the recently darkened Royal Hwn Shipping Center Dinner-Theatre-and-Appliances space.  Turns out heʻs quite the Regulah Joe, Honolulu nisei variety, easy to walaʻau witʻ, and is interested enuf to want to make a proposal for us to do, say, 3 nights/wk in said venue for, say, 3 months, whilst heʻs developing his own show ... he & his pal Jingles (or was it Tonto?  Barney Fife?), who was also actively present and sunnily opining at the meet, both proactively luvs them some Don Tiki, so at least from the Willingness standpoint, it do look promising.  Whether the "shared risk" proposal he is proposing to propose passes the bankruptcy test is another thang entirely.  Needless to say, but I will anyway, we await their profferance on bated breath.    FYI, I stand adamant that any DT show of a steady-run showroom nature must of necessity include the Dell, if not the farmer in it -- Ms Starr has the charisma and chops galore as a front gal, but self-admittedly does not yet carry that charmingly aggressive jokey audience-contact temperament so essential to the Don Tiki showroom experience. Our audience-contact, and thus potential success, dependeth on you, sir.  Otherwise, the Perry wheel of ripened cheese will stand alone, awaiting further, more auspicious developments. Pkg going out to ya Monday if/when i can tear myself away from the bustle that is PMP-by-day. Daʻs it Da Kit

Yo und Yo Coma Paloma Blanca...

Thanx for the multi-faceted info foil. All the news that's fit to Fritz... Quite gratifying to learn of the caucus with the gents who exhibit the essential combination of interest/intention/room/ and operative power to act upon their inclinations. As for my involvement? Thank you for voicing your take on the inherent synergistic chemistry. As for my stance? I'll say it again: It's MY intention to make IT work, regardless of the conditions. Your observation as to my celestial position in the arch of the Tiki Heavens is valid to me. The balanced meal does not consist of pastry alone, lean meat alone, electrolytes alone, roughage alone, baloney alone. The individual attributes of DON TIKI are just that -until catalyzed together in proper proportions. I may not be able to qualify -or for that matter clearly describe-  the human dynamic factor in play -but I know what it is and how it works. And besides -HEY! I'm always ready to sing, always ready for an adventure.

Blotto Spratmar!

-Delzilla

 

Grrrrrrl talk

...starr-raight from the newly refurbished fingertips of our girliest Don Tiki girl, the phenomenal and  pheremonoluscious Ms Kalahiki, who yesterday facebooked me thusly:

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i didn't get your email and my phone died anyway so i'm being a good girl and doing this message via fb email..
ok today's issue is... my japanese ghetto nails... i finally got paid for july and august weddings and wanted to go splurge on myself and put on some gawdy, ghetto, festive nails... sometimes we women feel like being more productive with colorful fingertips... but i got them tooo ghetto long and am having issues typing.... grrrrr... so i keep making mistaakes and backspacing but just so you get an idea i'm not gona correct my mistakes and hope you figure out what the hell i'jm trying to say... wait, i just automatically pacckspaced once.. oh but not just then,l oh but i did it again... dammit...
so now i have thiese super long, fuscia tipped, japanese ghetto ails that i had on about the same timej last year... and i 'm also having a hard time mhitting the touch scree keys on my iphone.... stupid nails... naikls nails...
the problem was i went too ghetto... should've stuck to the calgel which would've breern hearlthier for my anil and shorter... that woman at the crystal nail worked me good tho..."howcome you no lie beeeeeoootifoh i may' fo you!?"  ahhh, she may' fo me too long but my own fault for nhot saying anything... always i do that... somethig inside me is going... "no you don't really want to do this..."  but then someting else is going, "you already here ad you already asked for this and now you wasting this poor woman's time... hurrry up"  and den i pressure out and am not clear on what i really want for myself.... this seeps into all parts of my life... dammit i thought i wasw getting better about this sturff... must remmeber tto pause and breathe and think before i make any decisions... pfffft~that's a fart...... didnn't think about that one, it just instinctively came out.

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An explicatory note regarding Ms Starrʻs last remark: we both enjoy bearing witness to the frequent and unabashed crepitatious emissions issuing forth from the nether regions of our lovely and seriously wacked crony Ms Celeste, she of the famous Miniature Chinese Ribbon Dance, said act invariably accompanied by a coquettish Announcement of the Release.  (As the unrepentant Chong said to the embarrassed Cheech, "Hey man, itʻs a natural bodily function!")  In the case of Ms Celeste, having personally and on several occasions navigated through the gas-infused space within seconds of her emission-cum-announcement, I can attest that, indeed, they donʻt smell.  Both Starr and I agree, we can only strive for this kind of ideal purity in our own natural bodily functions.

Perry

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Urgent News for Serious Imbibers

Flash from the Cliffs of Oregon Newswire

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Subject: Team Drills For Scotch Whiskey Left in Antarctic Ice From 1909 Expedition 

Yo Coma Yo!

Itʻs my understanding that "MAWSONʻS ANTIFREEZEʻ is currently in the lead as the projected label for marketing -and we all know how important marketing is...

This is the inaugural outbound mail for my new techno-beast, an IMAC-21.5.  OOOOOHH... Even the styrofoam blocks that secured the unit within its carton were artfully deisgned.  Raymond Loewy graceful...  Howʻs about an Exotica Thanksgiving?  Little individual turkey voodoo dolls fashioned from kim chee for starters.  YUMMM, savory!

Update between sips of the century scotch when youʻre able...

-Delzilla

<http://www.foxnews.com/story/0.2933.575312.00.html>

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To which, after 3 weeks, Perry rouses hisself to reply:  (... hey! Iʻm an Old Man!)

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It better be singlemalt ... wonder if itʻll have Nose of Penguin or somesuch.

Latest Straw In The Wind -- I have it from a reliable inside undercover source that the R---- H------- is considering us for the M------ Rm come Valentineʻs Day.  Planny of time to prepare yr favorite Bobby Vinton. 

BTW, when we do play, they love us.  So we are determined to do a Valentineʻs Day show.  Somewhere.  Today i checked out an available & not-to-bad venue called, quaintly enough, Coyote Nights.  Google that, along with "bangkok" and see what arises.

Ironically enough, we may actually debut "In Thailand" there. --PC

Documenting the Hawaiian Hut

Just finished a quick yet poignant documentation of what remains of the Hawaiian Hut, with the Professional Eye of Mr Eye-zoom-eye as the Recordisto and yr obdnt srvnt as Ariadno guiding Mr E-Z-E into the various coves and caves of the Labyrinth.  The Hawaiian Hut, of course, is the natural habitat of the quintessential Don Tiki show, and it is definitely endangered.  If memory serves, weʻve done at least 6 shows there, documented throughout our video archives, such as (natch) Live At The Hawaiian Hut on our video page.

Itʻs been over a year since the HHʻs doors closed to paying audiences, abandoning honoluluʻs longest-running polynesian show in the process. We affectionately referred to it as The Zombie Luʻau for two compelling reasons.  First, the just-off-jet Japanese tourists, tourbussed into the showroom before checking in or even decompressing, invariably streamed out post-show with a pronounced collective zomboid expression and manner.  Second, the show itself acted as a wonderful soporific, complete with speechlines written circa 1971 and repeated verbatim for onto 4 decades.  Moreover, for some odd reason the lighting crew wielded an array of colored footlights to the exclusion of other lighting on, one might say, a bit too many numbers.  You could also make a case for Reason #2 instrumental in the rendering of Reason #1, thus making the show a perfect storm, as it were, of mass audience brainfreeze.

Be that as it may, we enjoyed many high-spirited moments there, and wish to keep it going somehow.  Latest scheme is to sell it to Chinese investors, reasoning that since they make everything, they have all the money, and indeed they own our money.  In this endeavor, I feel like Iʻm somehow party to one of Ralph Kramden and Ed Nortonʻs get-rich-quick schemes.  My only hope is that the Chinese investors never saw The Honeymooners.

Hence the documentation, in video and pic form. Ammunition for the scheme.  Mr E-Z-E will soon make the shoot available to us to post in all our RSS avatars -- The Hawaiian Hut, in all its splendor and all its current incipient decrepitude.

Perry