Grrrrrrl talk

...starr-raight from the newly refurbished fingertips of our girliest Don Tiki girl, the phenomenal and  pheremonoluscious Ms Kalahiki, who yesterday facebooked me thusly:

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i didn't get your email and my phone died anyway so i'm being a good girl and doing this message via fb email..
ok today's issue is... my japanese ghetto nails... i finally got paid for july and august weddings and wanted to go splurge on myself and put on some gawdy, ghetto, festive nails... sometimes we women feel like being more productive with colorful fingertips... but i got them tooo ghetto long and am having issues typing.... grrrrr... so i keep making mistaakes and backspacing but just so you get an idea i'm not gona correct my mistakes and hope you figure out what the hell i'jm trying to say... wait, i just automatically pacckspaced once.. oh but not just then,l oh but i did it again... dammit...
so now i have thiese super long, fuscia tipped, japanese ghetto ails that i had on about the same timej last year... and i 'm also having a hard time mhitting the touch scree keys on my iphone.... stupid nails... naikls nails...
the problem was i went too ghetto... should've stuck to the calgel which would've breern hearlthier for my anil and shorter... that woman at the crystal nail worked me good tho..."howcome you no lie beeeeeoootifoh i may' fo you!?"  ahhh, she may' fo me too long but my own fault for nhot saying anything... always i do that... somethig inside me is going... "no you don't really want to do this..."  but then someting else is going, "you already here ad you already asked for this and now you wasting this poor woman's time... hurrry up"  and den i pressure out and am not clear on what i really want for myself.... this seeps into all parts of my life... dammit i thought i wasw getting better about this sturff... must remmeber tto pause and breathe and think before i make any decisions... pfffft~that's a fart...... didnn't think about that one, it just instinctively came out.

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An explicatory note regarding Ms Starrʻs last remark: we both enjoy bearing witness to the frequent and unabashed crepitatious emissions issuing forth from the nether regions of our lovely and seriously wacked crony Ms Celeste, she of the famous Miniature Chinese Ribbon Dance, said act invariably accompanied by a coquettish Announcement of the Release.  (As the unrepentant Chong said to the embarrassed Cheech, "Hey man, itʻs a natural bodily function!")  In the case of Ms Celeste, having personally and on several occasions navigated through the gas-infused space within seconds of her emission-cum-announcement, I can attest that, indeed, they donʻt smell.  Both Starr and I agree, we can only strive for this kind of ideal purity in our own natural bodily functions.

Perry

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