IN THAILAND

Yo Ma Ma (as played by Jimmy Borges) and Serendipatthong Champalonganisa (as played by Delmar DeWilde) on vocals, for their respective versions; Dean Taba on bass; Jason Segler on drums; Noel Okimoto on bongos; Perry Coma on electric piano, chun mohs, synth mute guitar, and shanai and chʻing samples.

There is a long and involved history behind why we included two versions of this traditional ethnic song, which will be explained further on.  For now, letʻs clear up any inquiries about the above "exotic" instrumentation.

The chʻing consists of a pair of tethered finger cymbals, used in various Southeast Asian musical ensembles to set the groove, a similar role to the cowbell in "Oye Como Va" and songs of that ilk.  The chun moh is clave-like, hails from Vietnam.

The shanai appears in various guises depending on where one wanders in those lands bordering the Andaman Sea.  It is basically a small quadruple-reed oboe -- two reeds placed at the lips or even inside the mouth, two reeds located just below the instrumentʻs blowhole.  I quickly found that it is a foolʻs task to try jollying our already beleaguered reedists to learn any of these alien horns adeptly enough to play jazzy solos.  (I suspect it would have been equally foolhardy even to ask them to generate any sound whatsoever.)  Fortunately there exists a lovely plugin which I used to summon the haunting timbres (or, one could say, shrill blackboard scratchings) so necessary for "In Thailandʻs" proper emotive tone.  Or something like that.

And now, back to the on story.  Er, on to the back story.  (Sorry.)  Believe at your own risk.

Where to start?  I donʻt take sides.  But this is how I understand the little-known and mostly unresearched Continuing War Between The Two Southeast Asian Buddhist States arose in the first place.  As most wars do, it began with a piece of music.

The tune that we call "In Thailand" is ultimately our own crass adaptation of a noble ancient folk song whose misty origins have been a well gnawed-at bone of contention for many centuries.  Basically, two states bordering Thailand -- the Ancient and Forbidden Kingdom and the Sacred Shaman State of Ming Dynasty Exiles -- lay claim to exclusive origination, and concomitant copyright, of the piece.  Each has its own tradition of continuing usage; each belligerently labels the other as upstart, imposter or worse.   As one can gather from the English lyric translation, each takes as theirs-and-only-theirs the, if you will pardon the expression, "cozy" relationship it enjoys with Thailand.  Indeed on more than one occasion, threatening words have escalated into noisy saber-rattling army buildups at the borders.  However, since Thailand happens to be located athwart the two enemies, no actual invasion has ever taken place, for fear of collaterally destroying the very country the song praises, and among whose delights citizenry of both countries love to spend their leisure time.

So today, itʻs come to this.  The contemporary musical scions of this unfortunate tradition are two enormously talented vocal artists: Yo Ma Ma (of the A. and F. K.) and Serendipatthong Chompalonganisa (of the S. S. S.of M. D. E.).  

Unhappily, these two are intense and hostile rivals.  At a momentʻs notice, both gentlemen will whip out multifolded genealogical charts showing they are truly descended from the original songwriter.  Both will disparage the otherʻs chart as bogus, ersatz, and in any case a xerox copy.  And most inscrutably, both will use the same studio musicians (Thai, of course) to record the song for release in their respective countries.  

In the perhaps vain hope of at last working toward a resolution of this disconcerting and quixotic dilemma, we decided to employ the prodigious services of two well-known and well-seasoned men of song: Hawaiiʻs most celebrated jazz crooner Jimmy Borges, and our own peerless basso profumo Delmar DeWilde.  Their task was to record "In Thailand" as best they could, in the stylings of Yo and Chompalonganisa respectively.  And succeed they did, admirably so -- prompting us to send out feelers of detente to the two countriesʻ embassies.  To date itʻs been to no avail.

Please look for updates on this page should they occur.

An approximate translation, retaining the slight differences between the original languages:

In Thailand
Too muchy rain
Too muchy pretty girls
Canʻt explain
In Thailand
Too sticky rice
Stay away from Thailand
Not very nice

In Thailand
Too muchy heat
Too muchy pretty face
Pretty feet
In Thailand
Too easy play
Bad time In Thailand
So stay away

Feel like the star in a puppet show/Feel like a star in a puppet show
"The Evil Jungle Prince"
Been smitten ever since
I went thither, I went thence

To Thailand
Where muchy strain
Too muchy pretty girls
Must complain
In Thailand
Too big entice
Stay away from Thailand
I give advice

Feel like the star in a puppet show/Feel like a star in a puppet show
"The Evil Jungle Prince"
Been sweating ever since
I went thither, I went thence

To Thailand
Where muchy rain
Where muchy pretty girls/Too muchy pretty girls
Drive you insane/You come insane
To white man
i give advice
Stay away from Thailand
Please thinky twice
Too high price
Stay away from Thailand, my land,
My paradise